Coming soon: Tell Me No More

“He’s getting married!”

“What?”

“Jamie… he’s getting married,” I repeated frantically.

There was a wild look of panic in my eyes, I was sure. My whole world seemed to be crashing down around me. Nothing prepared me for the news that the man I still loved was about to walk down the aisle and make another woman his wife. Kay had to catch me in her arms before my legs gave out on me. For four years I’d been trying to come to grips with the fact that I’d let a good man get away.

Jamie and I had been together for almost two years before I’d cheated on him with my son’s father’s best friend. I’d met Jamie while I was head over heels in love with Aric. Even after finding out Aric was married, I held on to hope that he and I could be together. That was until his wife, Stephanie, tried to kill me and my son while I was pregnant with him. Even then, it took a while for me to see that Aric and I just weren’t meant to be together.

I finally saw that Jamie was the man I needed. Everything was going good until secrets from Jamie’s past came creeping up on us. Jamie had suffered through a heinous crime at the hands of his uncle when he was just ten years old. Once he confessed to how many women he’d had sex on top of what his uncle had done to him, our seemingly perfect relationship came crashing down.

 I didn’t know how to handle what he’d told me. Wasn’t woman enough or mature enough to be there for the man I loved like I needed to be. Instead of staying by Jamie’s side, I turned to Aric’s best friend, Gabriel. His words of comfort and his bed became my escape and thus, my downfall. Needless to say, Jamie found out and that was the end of our relationship. Not to mention, Aric, too, found out and started to show his behind like only he could.

Aric took custody of our son, AJ. There was no way I could have seen that coming. While I’d known if Jamie found out about me and Gabriel I could lose him, I had no idea Aric would play so dirty and take my son from me, but he had. I spent a good year and a half trying to get him back.

 I couldn’t even focus on that at the moment. All I could think about was the smug look of utter elation on Jamie’s fiancée’s when he finally told me of their pending nuptials. I’d rushed over to Kay’s house like my life depended on it.

“Calm down, Chy. Girl, you’re acting like you’re about to have a heart attack,” Kay fussed as she took hold of my arm to steady me.

Those tears that had been burning my eyelids came falling down my cheeks.

“I…I…I can’t believe he’s going to marry her,” I spoke faintly.

“When did you find this out?” she asked, still holding me up.

“Just now, Kay. I went to drop AJ and Lelani off and then Ashton asked me if I knew his dad was about to get married. What the hell, Kay?”

My friend, the woman whom I’d come to love and respect, looked at me. There was no emotion on her face, just a blank stare.

“Say something, Kay,” I said.

“What do you want me to say? You know he’s been dating her for a while now. The fact that they’re getting married should come as no surprise,” she stated flatly.

“What?”

Kay sighed and said flatly, “Chyanne, get a hold of yourself. Jamie has moved on.”

Her words annoyed me, angered me even. She was my best friend. She should have understood that Jamie marrying another woman would crush me. I stared her hard as she helped me walk into her kitchen from her narrow foyer. She pulled out a stool from her bar and helped to sit me on it.

“Kay, but he didn’t even tell me. It’s like… like…he has no regard for me at all anymore,” I explained. “He says he wasn’t obligated to tell me anything. Said that since I'd been okay with Nastasia being around the kids anyway, he didn’t think it was a problem.”

Kay took the stool next to me and handed me a Kleenex. She sighed before speaking. “I know he’s moved on and all, but I suppose he could have said something,” she finally agreed.

“Darn right he should have said something.”

“It’s understandable that you’re hurt. That stings.”

“It does. It stings like a female dog. I really can’t stand to see how happy she is with Jamie. But I have to pretend like everything is well. I have to act like I don’t care how happy she is with the man I love. I hate to see how happy she is with him,” I snarled.

Kay didn’t say anything. She just rubbed a calming hand up and down my back as she looked at me.

“Chy, I love you, like a sister, so I am saying this with love. You really messed it up big time. Not once, but multiple times and these are the seeds that are sown from that mistake. Maybe this is him lashing out at you, finally, and maybe it won’t be a permanent thing I don't know, I hate to say that, but maybe.”

Although I didn’t want to hear anything she was saying to me, I knew it was the truth. I’d been beating and kicking myself since Jamie had walked out. Half of me thought I still had a shot for a while. I figured he would eventually forgive me, we would talk, and he would be willing to give us another shot.

 No such thing had happened.