Skip to main content

My experience with being fat...

At my thinnest, people called me bean sprout, flagpole, told me I needed to eat a burger or two. All kinds of crap. Sometimes it hurt my feelings. Other times I laughed it off. However, since I crossed into the plus-size arena, I've heard some of the meanest, nastiest, vile things said about me and my fellow plus-sized sisters. When I was thin, I thought being told to eat a burger was horrible. Man, listen, that was nothing compared to the shit I hear now. Nothing. It's double the hurt being dark skin and plus-size.
Now this doesn't take away from my thin sisters who've had to endure years of taunting about them being small. I can't speak to what those things being said to them has done to their psyche.
I can only speak for myself and my experiences, but I'd rather be told to eat a burger than to be told to kill myself because I'm fat, black, and ugly. I'd rather have someone joke about me being a bean sprout than to have people tell me I shouldn't have standards about who I date because I'm fat and men don't want fat women.
I'd rather be called a flagpole than to have people online bashing my weight in an effort to say that choosing not to date a fat person is not fat shaming. And you know what? They're right. Choosing not to date a big person isn't fat shaming. But you know what it fat shaming? Saying you choose not to date a fat person because they look nasty or saying that it disgusts you to see them eating or that they disgust you in general.
It's hard trying to navigate friendships when you know that the person thinks less of you because they're a size six and you're a size sixteen. I've had people close to me tell me I had no right to like a man of a particular look because I'm not of a particular body shape.
Listen, Linda, listen. I may not be an Instagram model, but I've never had a problem pulling any man of any particular look.
For the life of me I don't understand why people just can't let others just be. I have no problem with thin women. In fact, there are some fine-ass, slim-thick, skinny women on my friends' list. In the same breath, there are some fine-ass, thick, shapely, voluptuous women on my friends' list as well. Can't we all just get along?
I expect certain shit from men, but when I see other women joining in on the melee, it sickens me. Don't we have enough to fight about? And don't give me that bullcrap about being concerned about the health factor. Ya'll out here smoking, drinking, eating McDonald's, and any other fast food you can stuff in your mouths, but suddenly my health is your concern? I know what genuine concern is and I know what a person being a dick is. Fuck outta here.
I said all of that to say, my experience as a plus-size sister has given me even more body image issues than I had when I was skinny. Luckily, I have people in my life who give me words of encouragement when needed. Otherwise...I don't want to think of the otherwise...


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

New Movie Review: Deuces

So I watched Deuces last night. It's a new movie starring Larenz Tate, Lance Gross and Meagan Goode. The premise of the story is damn near like every one of those hood novels that are so popular on Amazon these days. If you've read any novel considered hood or urban lit, then you've seen this movie already. And just like some of the hood/urban lit novels, the movie had a few issues. That didn't take away from the fact I kinda enjoyed the jawn. The story goes a little something like this: Man is a drug dealer. Man wants to go legit. Man meets girl. Girl falls in love with man. A new dude comes into the crew. It shakes up crazy and before you know it, the shit done hit the fan. I give the movie a solid three-stars and that's only because it was good to see Larenz Tate on the screen again. However, some of the acting left a lot to be desired. Still, if you got nothing to do on a late night, I'd recommend it.

I post HONEST reviews; I'm also an author!

95% of the time when I do a review, I've paid for the book. I used to accept free books in exchange for "honest" reviews. However, I've found that people don't really want honest. They want what makes them feel good. So I started purchasing the books I wanted to read myself. That way, people can't feel that I'm obligated to post anything but my honest opinion. It's rare that I give anything less than three-stars. If the book falls below three-stars, I stop reading it and move on.

Reviewers sometimes get a rough deal. They have authors who come after them maliciously. They have authors who feel like a reviewer owes them something. Some authors even feel a reader/reviewer has to post a review in a certain time frame. They don't. There are no set rules when it comes to reviewing unless the reviewer gives their word that they will post one in a certain time frame. Readers/reviewers have lives. I'm sure many of them would love to just sit home with…

Is'nana The Were-Spider: A Review and Interview with the Creator, Greg Anderson-Elysee

Anansi has been known as many things from the Sky God to the Keeper of Stories and my personal favorite, the Trickster. While many argue Anansi's origin, stories and folklore tales can be found about the Spider-God throughout Africa and the Caribbean. Anansi is sometimes depicted in many different ways. Sometimes as a spider with a human face or sometimes as a spider wearing clothes. He is even depicted human like with spider elements like having eight legs. But what makes the story of Is'nana the Were-Spider different is we get to see Anansi as a father.
I know, I know. Amazing isn't it?
Is'nana is the son of the Spider-God and throughout the comic we get to see a bond between father and son that makes me see Anansi in a whole new light. Without spoiling too much of the comic for those of you who haven't had a chance to read it yet, the comic opens with an introduction to Is'nana. While we already know of his famous father, we get to see the world through Is…