At my thinnest, people called me bean sprout, flagpole, told me I needed to eat a burger or two. All kinds of crap. Sometimes it hurt my feelings. Other times I laughed it off. However, since I crossed into the plus-size arena, I've heard some of the meanest, nastiest, vile things said about me and my fellow plus-sized sisters. When I was thin, I thought being told to eat a burger was horrible. Man, listen, that was nothing compared to the shit I hear now. Nothing. It's double the hurt being dark skin and plus-size.
Now this doesn't take away from my thin sisters who've had to endure years of taunting about them being small. I can't speak to what those things being said to them has done to their psyche.
I can only speak for myself and my experiences, but I'd rather be told to eat a burger than to be told to kill myself because I'm fat, black, and ugly. I'd rather have someone joke about me being a bean sprout than to have people tell me I shouldn't have standards about who I date because I'm fat and men don't want fat women.
I'd rather be called a flagpole than to have people online bashing my weight in an effort to say that choosing not to date a fat person is not fat shaming. And you know what? They're right. Choosing not to date a big person isn't fat shaming. But you know what it fat shaming? Saying you choose not to date a fat person because they look nasty or saying that it disgusts you to see them eating or that they disgust you in general.
It's hard trying to navigate friendships when you know that the person thinks less of you because they're a size six and you're a size sixteen. I've had people close to me tell me I had no right to like a man of a particular look because I'm not of a particular body shape.
Listen, Linda, listen. I may not be an Instagram model, but I've never had a problem pulling any man of any particular look.
For the life of me I don't understand why people just can't let others just be. I have no problem with thin women. In fact, there are some fine-ass, slim-thick, skinny women on my friends' list. In the same breath, there are some fine-ass, thick, shapely, voluptuous women on my friends' list as well. Can't we all just get along?
I expect certain shit from men, but when I see other women joining in on the melee, it sickens me. Don't we have enough to fight about? And don't give me that bullcrap about being concerned about the health factor. Ya'll out here smoking, drinking, eating McDonald's, and any other fast food you can stuff in your mouths, but suddenly my health is your concern? I know what genuine concern is and I know what a person being a dick is. Fuck outta here.
I said all of that to say, my experience as a plus-size sister has given me even more body image issues than I had when I was skinny. Luckily, I have people in my life who give me words of encouragement when needed. Otherwise...I don't want to think of the otherwise...