Skip to main content

My experience with being fat...

At my thinnest, people called me bean sprout, flagpole, told me I needed to eat a burger or two. All kinds of crap. Sometimes it hurt my feelings. Other times I laughed it off. However, since I crossed into the plus-size arena, I've heard some of the meanest, nastiest, vile things said about me and my fellow plus-sized sisters. When I was thin, I thought being told to eat a burger was horrible. Man, listen, that was nothing compared to the shit I hear now. Nothing. It's double the hurt being dark skin and plus-size.
Now this doesn't take away from my thin sisters who've had to endure years of taunting about them being small. I can't speak to what those things being said to them has done to their psyche.
I can only speak for myself and my experiences, but I'd rather be told to eat a burger than to be told to kill myself because I'm fat, black, and ugly. I'd rather have someone joke about me being a bean sprout than to have people tell me I shouldn't have standards about who I date because I'm fat and men don't want fat women.
I'd rather be called a flagpole than to have people online bashing my weight in an effort to say that choosing not to date a fat person is not fat shaming. And you know what? They're right. Choosing not to date a big person isn't fat shaming. But you know what it fat shaming? Saying you choose not to date a fat person because they look nasty or saying that it disgusts you to see them eating or that they disgust you in general.
It's hard trying to navigate friendships when you know that the person thinks less of you because they're a size six and you're a size sixteen. I've had people close to me tell me I had no right to like a man of a particular look because I'm not of a particular body shape.
Listen, Linda, listen. I may not be an Instagram model, but I've never had a problem pulling any man of any particular look.
For the life of me I don't understand why people just can't let others just be. I have no problem with thin women. In fact, there are some fine-ass, slim-thick, skinny women on my friends' list. In the same breath, there are some fine-ass, thick, shapely, voluptuous women on my friends' list as well. Can't we all just get along?
I expect certain shit from men, but when I see other women joining in on the melee, it sickens me. Don't we have enough to fight about? And don't give me that bullcrap about being concerned about the health factor. Ya'll out here smoking, drinking, eating McDonald's, and any other fast food you can stuff in your mouths, but suddenly my health is your concern? I know what genuine concern is and I know what a person being a dick is. Fuck outta here.
I said all of that to say, my experience as a plus-size sister has given me even more body image issues than I had when I was skinny. Luckily, I have people in my life who give me words of encouragement when needed. Otherwise...I don't want to think of the otherwise...


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

New Movie Review: Deuces

So I watched Deuces last night. It's a new movie starring Larenz Tate, Lance Gross and Meagan Goode. The premise of the story is damn near like every one of those hood novels that are so popular on Amazon these days. If you've read any novel considered hood or urban lit, then you've seen this movie already. And just like some of the hood/urban lit novels, the movie had a few issues. That didn't take away from the fact I kinda enjoyed the jawn. The story goes a little something like this: Man is a drug dealer. Man wants to go legit. Man meets girl. Girl falls in love with man. A new dude comes into the crew. It shakes up crazy and before you know it, the shit done hit the fan. I give the movie a solid three-stars and that's only because it was good to see Larenz Tate on the screen again. However, some of the acting left a lot to be desired. Still, if you got nothing to do on a late night, I'd recommend it.

Deleted scene from Bi-Sensual: Unedited/Update on David, Summer, and Michael

“I can’t believe you’ve been in Atlanta this long and didn’t tell me,” Summer said. I smiled at her. Summer was a good friend of mine. We’d met long ago, back in college when I was just a timid shy girl who jumped at her own shadow. She still looked the same minus a few extra pounds from baby weight. She was pregnant with one child while another was on her hip. The little boy was a beautiful specimen of a child. However, his honey golden eyes told me whose child he was. Summer’s life had given me the background story to my last NYT best seller. She told me the story of her and her husband, who was bisexual, and his friend, Michael. The writer in me went wild. Of course I asked her if I could write about it. She told me I could, but by God, she had never told me Michael had fathered her child. My eyes were as wide as saucers. “Are you and David still together?” I asked. “Yeah, why do you ask me that?” I made no bones about looking directly at the child on her hip. “He looks like Micha…

Naughtier Than Nice: A Review

This is another stop on a new slate of reviews I'll be posting on Nikki-Michelle's Spot. Before I ever had dreams of becoming a writer, I was a reader. That hasn't changed. I love to read. A good book can always take me away like Calgon.  Next up, Naughtier Than Nice by Eric Jerome Dickey. I should note that this book is NOT on Kindle Unlimited. As a reader, I'm a fan of Kindle Unlimited. If you're a reader looking to test a new author, KU is a good investment, especially in this market of....eh, that's a story for a different day. Back to Naughtier Than Nice.

Man, whew. I've waited so long for EJD to get back to this style of writing. Now don't get me wrong I love Gideon and  the chick from A Wanted Woman, but I longed for the day EJD would get back to the Cheaters and Liar's Game style of writing. Once I read One Night earlier this year, I knew I was going to get Naughtier Than Nice. First off, let me say it did my heart some good to get an update…