Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Ramblings & Musings

Sometimes, I reach out to friends, just to see how they're doing. Sometimes they're all good. Other times, they vent and they vent and they vent. And... I allow them to. Sometimes I have the right words to say to help them along. Other times, I can only listen. I never say it's too much and I never reject them when they vent to me. My friendship comes with an open door policy.

I've often seen others say that sometimes it's too much for them when they reach out to check on friends and then the friend just lays everything at their feet. Not me. I consider it an honor that my friends feel I'm worthy of such a task. Sometimes, we can't just talk to everybody. So when that one person reaches out to us, our spirits feel at ease, so we open up.

No, this doesn't make me any better than those who feel as if it's just too much to take on others' problems. Trust me, I get it. I understand completely. Self preservation is a must and we're all entitled to it.

Sometimes people annoy me. We get so caught up in trying to teach people lessons like we're God or something. When we have the opportunity to help others, instead of saying I don't want to help you, we pretend as if we care when we really don't. Or we'll say "well they're going to have to figure this out on their own. They need to learn to make better decisions." And, yes, on some occasions we really do need to make better decisions.

However, as I've started my journey of self-discovery, I've learned that it isn't up to us to teach lessons. We're not God or any kind of higher power. I've learned that if I don't want to help a person to just say that. But, what I can say is that there has never been a time when my friend has needed help that I left them hanging, not if I had what they needed. And I never will.

Over the years, I've made new friends and I've lost others. Actually any time I've shown people who I really was, judgement soon follows. They say things like, "oh, she's too extreme" or "she needs to get over her past" or "why doesn't she just do this or do that?" I'm very intuitive and anytime someone I hold close to me is speaking of me in an ill manner, I can feel it. It hurts, but I've gotten used to it.

Last year in 2016, my relationship with three women got stronger. I love these three women to the core of me. Because with them, I feel at home. I've never felt unclean nor have they ever made me feel crazy for showing my true self.

Humans are complicated and I'm finally getting to place where I expect them to show that in complex ways. I'm not sure what 2017 holds, but one thing I know for sure is that I'll no longer allow others to dictate how I see myself. I'll continue to gravitate toward those who see the real me and still love me. Over time, I'll pull away from others. There won't be any hard feelings on my end. It'll just be time for our journey together to come to an end.

All my life, I've been searching for something that hasn't quite found me yet. But I feel it's near. And once it finds me, I'll know my heart is finally at peace, at home. And I'll know how to nurture it. I welcome it. I deserve it.

Saturday, January 7, 2017

Widowed: A Review

Widowed was a wonderful story from start to finish. I already knew Arista would be a character I could connect with from the moment I read the first few pages. The story starts with Arista grieving her late husband, Paul. From there she meets Donald and that's when the sparks start to fly. I liked Donald instantly. Normally I'm not a fan of the older woman, younger man story lines as most authors tend to try too hard to make the connection seem authentic. However, Angelia's characters' connection seemed authentic from the jump.

Widowed told the story of woman who had loved and loved hard, but when it was time to move on, she wasn't so sure. It took a lot of soul searching for Arista to really give herself another chance at love. Donald was the perfect man for her to do this with. Tall, dark, and fine in every sense of the word.

And then you had Jackson and my mother always said if can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all. So I won't. LOL! Yona was something else altogether. But I can see how Donald's father would be taken with her. I'd love to get awakened and put to sleep the same way to be honest. LOL! Johnetta, Donald's mother, tickled me pink. She was a riot and I always love Elders who have a dry wit like sense of humor. Now Paul's secrets caught me completely off guard and I was ready for that at all!

All-in-all, I give Widowed five pages (think five-stars). Nikki-Michelle recommends this book.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Girlish...to Woman: A Review!

She's done it again, and by she, I mean Angelia Vernan Menchan. She has once again managed to take me through a barrage of emotions. Girlish was so different from Womanish in the sense that it was targeted at young girls and girls coming into womanhood. I know I've said it before when she wrote Womanish, but Mrs. Menchan always manages to show me myself in each of her characters. This time was no different. Let's get into it, shall we?

The first story was about a young girl named Trina. Her mother came running to Angel, desperate for help with rescuing the young girl from the clutches of a predator. When I tell you I hollered when Angel grabbed her glock, I ain't lying. But what took the cake was when she told Darnell she was going to lay him the hell down if he didn't bring her that young girl out of his house!

The next story was about a young girl named Jo and this story touched me deep down in my soul. I felt so many things for Jo, so much so that I can't even name them all. It's like Jo's soul took trips in and out of her body. One minute she was lucid and the next she was just floating, better yet dancing, on air, trying to get by. I feel that life, her adoptive mother and father had failed her in a sense. We've heard Jo's story time and time again and yet nothing is done to ensure these kind of people don't have access to the children. But as with any predator, they are good at hiding their hand.

I'm already laughing to myself because I'm about to talk about Vi. She was something else, but I'm not even going to say much about Vi. I'm going to let ya'll read that and be tickled on your own. I wonder if that smell ever fully went away. LOL!

With Lisa, all I can say is that I'm happy she found a way to live her life freely. Maybe Wanda will follow suit? With Glenda, in the end, I was happy she got something out of the deal because baby when I tell you I wanted to shake the ish out this girl, I ain't lying. Delia came through like a wrecking ball, kicking butt, spitting, and taking names. I felt sorry for her because I know her struggle all too well. And poor Debra... I still wonder what was going on in her home to make her turn to a vice at such an early age.

It was the last story that touched me the most because the author revealed some deep dark secrets of her own. This proves that many times we think we know a person and their story when we really have no idea. I won't speak too much on the last story because I really need people to get into this book and understand that sometimes, no matter how life tries to screw you over, you don't have to become what has happened to you. I want to thank this author for writing an inspirational book that actually teaches you without preaching to you. I know a lot of folk won't get that, but to those of us whom Mrs. Menchan has ministered to, we get it. Angel is the kind of Elder that is so desperately needed for the young girls and us young mothers, especially today.

All-in-all, I give this book five pages (think five-stars). Nikki-Michelle recommends this book. 


Sunday, December 25, 2016

New Books Alert: A Christmas Kind of Love (A Sojourner Falls Tale)

Christmas is here and Sojourner Falls is in trouble…For two-hundred years, Sojourner Falls has been a safe haven for African-Americans looking to escape the ills of racism. The once lively town used to boast of joyous times and festive holidays, but after years of bad economic downfalls and low tourist turnouts, the town is going under.

When corporate attorney Blade Martyn gets a call from his older brother to come back home to Sojourner Falls, his first thought was to say hell no, as he had been saying for the last twelve years. But things were different this time around. Blade couldn’t put his finger on it, but something strong was tugging at him to come back home.

Grace Bellamy only has one thing on her mind: saving Sojourner Falls. So when Blade Martyn comes gallivanting in to save the day, she has no intention of falling for the man who had come to steal Christmas like his name was the Grinch.

Together, Blade, Grace and the rest of Sojourner Falls must figure out a way to save the town before it’s too late. However, Blade and Grace must first address the explosive connection that threatens to take them from frenemies to lovers.

Get in the Christmas spirit and read A Christmas Kind of Love today! Only $2.99 at Amazon.com. 

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Woman To Woman: Womanish III (Volume 3): A Review

Once again, I'm back with a review for another volume of Womanish. I am a big fan of these books and I didn't think I would be simply because I've never been a fan of books filled with short stories. However, Angelia has managed to pull me all in. I get so engaged in these Womanish books that I even get to ranting and raving about it on Facebook and Twitter.

That's neither here or there. Let's get into this review for Woman to Woman: Womanish III. I must say that the first story in this book floored me. Ilisha and Abraham were something else. I admit that Abraham came off a bit brash to me at times, but Ilisha seemed to like it. However, Ilisha rubbed me the wrong way with one of the things she did. I didn't understand the method to the madness behind why she went to see that woman.

Next was the story of Heidi and her husband. I just didn't like Heidi at all. She would have been okay if she didn't feel so entitled to Anthony and it seems she felt entitled to have him because she was white. Don't get me wrong, Anthony was a mamafunker, but she knew this when she married him. The reasons she gave as to why Anthony shouldn't be attracted to Black women made me side eye her so hard, my eyes got stuck. But I will applaud Anthony for being an outstanding father.

One of my favorite stories was the one with Linda. I loved the way she just finally decided enough was enough and took control of her life. Women who do this tend to have me cheering them on like no other.

My next favorite was the one with Cheryl. I was way too happy to read she left her ain't ish of a husband and went on about her business and her life.

The rest of the stories were pretty tame in comparison to the last two books. Actually, this book was pretty subtle in the lessons Angelia tend to give in her books. The Womanish Series has become something that I look forward to reading as I can always find bits and pieces of myself in each of the women in the books.

All-in-all, I give this book 4.5 pages (think 4.5 stars, I took away half a point because of the few editing issues I found. None of them take away from the story though). Nikki-Michelle approves this book.

Saturday, November 12, 2016

I'm bored.

I'm bored. I've been bored for a while now. The only thing that gets me remotely excited is reading and writing, and even those things are waning. I'm working on a story that's pretty intimidating as I haven't written in this genre before. I don't want to tell what it is just yet. I'm trying to get to a hundred pages. I feel once I get to that goal then I will be on my way.

The first half of this story is coming in bits and pieces. Although I write every day, it's only a page at a time or maybe a paragraph or two. I have these scenes in my head, I'm just not sure how to navigate my way to them. I'm new at this world building thing so that's taking some time as well.

Anyway, I'm just rambling. Just wanted to check in and update those who follow me. And for my Chyanne fans, no worries. I'm working on Tell Me No More as well.

Oh yeah, pre-order my new book, Bi-Sensual

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

National Coming Out Day!

Today is National Coming Out Day. I want to take the time to show love to all of those in the LGBTIQA Community who will come out today. No matter what the reaction is, live your life according to you.

I also want to take a moment to talk to the B side of the LGBTIQA Community. Sometimes coming out is solely centered around the gay, trans, lesbians, and others who are queer of the Community.

 I want to remind everyone that coming out also means that those who are bisexual, either living on the down low or even in same gender loving relationships, will choose to come out today. Please provide them agency to do so. It's doubly hard for Bisexuals to come out, even in so called safe spaces.

If you're on the B side and you choose today to come out, you, too, must live your life according to you. Don't hide who you are just to make others feel comfortable.

 B-proud!

 B-Free! 
B-You! 
Just...B!